Tag Archives: marijuana

Mother of Three Needs Somewhere Private to Smoke Marijuana

11 Jan
Asian Mom

Beverly getting day-stoned in an affluent alleyway with her Golden Retrievers.

EAST PASADENA, CA─A local mother of three in the Michillinda Park neighborhood has confirmed that she is currently open to suggestions as to where she can privately smoke marijuana.

Mothering two daughters, 4 and 6, and a 2-year-old son has had Beverly Lee at her wit’s end for the last few years. The “McMansions” on both sides of her single-story five bedroom make privacy difficult when trying to toke from her mini-bong beside the garage, or in the herb garden behind the garage. “There’s always a neighbor looking out their window down into our yard, very nosy people. The houses on both sides of us are way too big for their lot, and I need to de-stress at least three or four times a week! Plus my husband thinks he made me quit in college. So I can’t just blaze it in the garage either.”

Lee’s neighbor’s father-in-law bathrobe-flashes constantly from his bedroom window.

Beverly is said to have briefly considered psychotherapy when she began biting her nails after being hit in the gut with the fact that three kids constantly in need, a husband who still wanted sex, and both of her aging in laws under one roof was a situation that really fucking sucked.

Lee now has a bone to pick with Los Angeles County as they recently boarded up a decaying corner-lot estate on the corner of Michigan and California. This overgrown decaying property is where she had smoked for the last month during her late-afternoon walk with her family’s two Golden Retrievers.

“If the homeless hadn’t torn out all the brass and scrap metal in the kitchen, the gates would still be open. The city boarded it up and barred all the entrances. That place was my salvation. My dogs would just sprawl out; I could have some me time. Decompress before I had to get back to the constant neediness of my family. Ha-ha-ha!”

East Pasadena estate a haven for soccer moms and meth addicts alike.

Smoking a small pocket pipe by the dried out coy pond, or by the pool filled with two-month-old rain water, or taking bong rips in the rotting gazebo was the nirvana Beverly Lee lacked in her stifling domestic cocoon. Such reflective pause in her daily routine inspired brazen fantasies not usually associated with suburban moms.

“Huge property, so many places to get stoned. I even smoked inside the house a couple of times and walked from room to room singing Paperback Writer and writing trashy made-up book titles on the walls with my eyeliner pencil,”said Lee. “My favorite was Asian Mom Runs Away with NFL Player.”

Michelinda Park Estate

Dive in naked with mouth and eyes wide open.

As Beverly ducked into some shrubs in one of Michillinda Park’s spacious alleyways, she looked left and right before sparking up a primo bowl. Her dogs sat  obediently at first, but were then  spooked by a rustling in the bushes a few yards to the east. They nearly yanked Beverly off her feet before she relinquished their dual leash and gave chase during an intense coughing fit.

She dashed quickly after the retrievers, her sandals slapping the ground. She called out their names, “Duke” and “Juliet” as her coughing gave way to gagging. At press time, Duke and Juliet had not yet apprehended the rabbit that darted out of the bushes.

For those with an uber-chill spot to smoke, look for Beverly Lee on the San Gabriel Valley Mom’s Group on Facebook.

Asian Coed

Years earlier in Westwood, undergrad Beverly on the prowl for weed and future-surgeon cock.